Granblue Notes pt. 8 - La Coiffe
Exploring character design through the art of Granblue Fantasy, while never actually playing it
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I'm afraid there will be no extended preamble to this weeks Granblue Notes series covering La Coiffe. For you see, after a long period of silence, my Playstation 4 is back to making jet engine noises in my living room, while outputting 30fps maximum on a good day. I'm gaming again, baybee! So yeah, I'm unable to offer the thoughtful, erudite mental aperitif I usually provide before the main course of anime character design criticism. It's just such a distinct pleasure to be playing video games again.
Starting this substack has, for me, reawakened a talent that has lain dormant, for the on-command production of written words for the elucidation of nothing and the edification of no one. But the practice of this highly sought after, extremely profitable skill comes at the expense of time. Time I can spend gaming. And believe me folks, I am gaming.
What game, you may ask? It's Ghost of Tsushima, and it fucking rips. I'd never say it's a good game; it's a cobbling together and reassembly of good open world game design approaches paired with compulsive character progression systems and gradual map unlocking. It's a tried and true formula that has somehow made the prospect of a 40 - 60 hour gameplay experience commonplace in today's market, highly demanded even. Of course everything you can and will do in the game you will have done by hour 10 if not earlier. After that it's just rinse and repeat.
The difference here is that the period and setting are repeatedly triggering my weeb ass serotonin receptors, milking my dopamine glands and stroking off my endorphin chutes like nothing else. The last time games hit like this was Final Fantasy 7 Remake approximately this time last year. A year between games is nothing I guess, but it felt like a long time for me.
In all honesty I think this type of game is harmful to the industry in the long run and probably also for consumers and especially for the people making it. But damn, do they know how to craft a freaking game world! I shudder to think of all the sleepless nights that have gone into creating a delightful, immersive Kamakura era hot spring village. I've spent many hours simply walking from location to location and taking in all the stunning views. Not on horseback, not running, just slightly tilting the left stick forward and slowing panning over the environs. This game is lush.
There's also an immense pleasure in the repetitive chopping of dudes. There's a balance that makes fights feel realistic and cinematic and challenging. I'm playing on the hardest difficulty so it can get frantic at times. I've probably seen most of the combat configurations they'll throw my way by now, but I'm not bored yet.
For as long as I've been gaming I've looked forward to the day we’d get the “GTA of samurais”. This is as close as we're gonna get to that at the moment, I guess. I'm delighted to be along for the ride with Ghost of Tsushima, but it's not quite the samurai game of my dreams. For one the story is very boring and the cutscenes are unskippable. What the fuck, guys? Unskippable cutscenes in 2021??
Unfortunately I've never played a Way of the Samurai game or the samurai Yakuza spin-offs so I can't really compare it to those. This is surely a step in the right direction, and I'm hoping the success of this game might lead to more offerings in this style.
Just to speak it into existence, here is what my dream board for the perfect samurai game would look like:
An actual good story, written by Kentaro Miura I guess! As long as we're dreaming here.
Skippable cutscenes, skippable dialogue
Stealth sections that are also skippable
Early Meiji period setting with fantastical elements
Robust character creator that includes diverse options for race and gender
Combat system developed by the Platinum A-team
Character designs by Kazuma Kaneko
Large, fully open world with locations that reflect Hokkaido, Okinawa and in between
RDR2 level of horses
Seasonal cycle
Dating sim elements
Robust multiplayer including couch co-op
Optional VR compatibility
Tenga peripheral compatibility that sucks your dick while playing the game
It doesn't have to be the focus of the game, but there should be a sequence where the samurai is transported to a spaghetti western setting
Kenji Kawai/Yoko Kano collaboration soundtrack
That's all I can come up with for now, knowing that I have gaming to do, but this is by no means a complete list. Game devs take note!
So yeah, again, my sincere apologies in not being able to fulfil my promise of a long and rambling opening spiel. Lord forgive me, for I'm about to go back to the old me, the gamer me, the me from approximately a year ago. Games rule, actually. In the words of my beloved, adorable Virgil Texas: “Semper Games”.
And now onto my latest Granblue draw. It's the R rarity rated La Coiffe!
Born into a nature-loving family of master gardeners, La Coiffe was taught the importance of coexisting with the natural world from an early age. Now, after years of study, the techniques she's learned are finally bearing fruit.
- In-game Journal
Here we go! Kemonomimi round 2. I told you there were cat folks in our future didn’t I? This is only the beginning. I guess you could be a bit technical here and say that La Coiffe doesn’t actually have cat ears. What cat has ears like that anyway? And I guess you’d be right. I did what I feel constitutes as cheating by actually looking up the fantasy race that La Coiffe is a representative of - the Erune. Anidb provides a handy and succinct definition that reads as follows:
A race in the Granblue Fantasy universe. It's defined by ambiguous animal ears (most appear to seem cat-like), slim and lithe stature, and prominent fashion that shows off bare sides and backs (though there are some erune characters that do not wear clothes akin to the aforementioned).
When you incorporate fanservice designs into the lore of your fantasy race for your gacha game, that’s called foresight and business accumen.
I suppose, then, it is accurate to say that both La Coiffe and Stan share the racial trait of being somewhat underdressed. That’s one mystery solved! But we have so many more yet to unravel. Like what the fuck does La Coiffe mean? It means haircut. Okay cool that’s two mysteries solved. So she’s some sort of ambiguous animal girl battle stylist. No, dumbass, read the bio - she’s clearly a gardener from a family of master gardeners. Those giant shears are not a barber’s shears but that of a gardener!
I mean it’s obvious from the vine pattern enamel running along the handle of the shears right? Yeah okay, it’s stupid. I don’t know much about scissors but those are clearly a pair of barber’s scissors right? They have a pointy end. The only thing that is really missing is the little extended bit on one of the handles, whatever the heck that’s for. I do have to say that I really like the vine pattern that is present on the red outside handle as well as the inside, running all the way up to the blade.
Like Razia, La Coiffe's armament is much larger than she is and only slightly less phallic. The purpose and messaging of the giant scissors as weapons is similar to what I touched on in my post about Attack on Titan. This is craft and utility repurposed for violence. La Coiffe is a gardener, a pro at hedge trimming and whatnot. What else could she trim if push came to shove? In the hands of a combatant any old tool could be made into a deadly weapon. The fantasy of the marine who can kill you in several ways with just a spoon. This is engaging because all it takes for us is a slight shift in perspective to see the ordinary and make it deadly. It's like when you play top much Tony Hawk and start seeing gaps everywhere in the environment.
There are more clues in this design pointing to La Coiffe's profession. Did you catch it? Yes, she has some leaves in her hair! This seems like a silly afterthought, and makes me think this design was very much a cute catgirl first type of deal. Perhaps she was even supposed to be a stylist until some lore guy came through and shit on everyone's parade. The stylist thing may be why she's got a fresh cut and the prominent, stately animal ears. And why she is named La Coiffe, of course.
Her outfit, as previously mentioned, is scant. This is an expression of her culture. The pink boob window fabric pulled over her front is attached to what looks like a denim miniskirt. It's probably not denim, but in combination with the plate mail greaves we get another Zettai Ryouiki. Notable is that the greaves end in armoured high heels, known for their combat effectiveness. Maximum damage when stepping on foes!
It's a bit goofy and to be expected of this cheesecakey take on fantasy art. I kind of enjoy the overal vibe of this design. The nonchalant, casual pose contrasted by the danger and sharpness of the giant scissor creates an alluring effect. That's fun!
La Coiffe also has a capable side to her. The red pauldron/gauntlet situation on her arm match the colour of her weapon. She is an extension of it and vice versa. So far we've had two Erune characters with similar dress sense; armoured extremities and barely covered mid section. I think La Coiffe and Stan might also share a party role, fulfilling the low health high DPS slot. However the uniqueness of her weapon might also allude to her being a gimmick character, the kind that have to meet a number of special criteria in order to be an effective combatant. Think Quina from Final Fantasy 9 or Cait Sith who is actually useless no matter what you do now that I think of it.
La Coiffe seems like a genki girl through and through. I'd go into what that means but I really, really do have some videogames to play. Genki girls will be back, so will zettai ryouiki and kemonomimi. I've seen the future, it is kawaii.
Have you been playing any videogames lately? What does your dream samurai game look like? Anyway, time to get back to gaming!
Join me next week as we roll the dice on another Granblue something something.